A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
♥ Like if you love your Mom.
♥ Like this if you are missing someone badly : (
That awkward moment when your Ex is Hotter Than before
12 Signs your falling in Love....
1. You'll Read His/Her Texts;
Over and Over again.
2. You'll Walk Really Really Slow;
While you're with Him/Her.
3. You'll Pretend 2 be Shy;
Whenever you're with Him/Her.
4. While Thinking about Him/Her;
your Heart will Beat faster and faster.
5. By Listening to His/Her Voice;
you'll Smile for no Reason.
6. While Looking at Him/Her;
you cant see the Other People around you,
you can Only See that Person.
7. You'll Start Listening to SLOW Songs.
8. He/She becomes all you Think about.
9. You'll get High just by Their Smell.
10. You'll Realize that;
you're always Smiling to yourself;
When you Think about Them.
11. You'll Do anything for Him/Her.
12. While Reading this,
There was One Person on your Mind the Whole Time.. Press Like If you are in Love..
Mom: Go tell your brother/sister it's time to eat.
You: *Walks two inches and yells up the stairs* MOM SAYS IT'S TIME TO EAT!!!
You know you've done it (:
- I got kicked out of math class today.
- Apparently the answer to "What comes after 69" isn't mouthwash.
- I love you, man.
THERE IS ALWAYS THAT ONE FREAKY GIRL IN YOUR GRADE THAT'S OBSESSED WITH HORSES♥
LIKE IF YOU AGREE
Hello Operator, does Heaven have a phone number? Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today, My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need her right away, Operator can you tell me how to find her in this book. Is heaven in the yellow part, I don't know where to look. I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry. I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why. Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me. Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea? She's been gone a long, long time she needs to come home now! I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how. Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"? I can't read these big big words, I am only seven. I'm sorry operator, I didn't mean to make you cry, Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye? If I call my church maybe they will know Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go. I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall. Thank you operator, I'll give them a call
Me: Can you grow please?
CUTE GUYS MAKE YOU CRAZY, hot guys make you melt, cool guys make you daydream.
BUT FUNNY GUYS MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE
REASONS TO HAVE
A GUY BEST FRIEND;
guys don't start sh●t for no apparent reason
they won't tell anyone your secrets
they don't pms and randomly act b●tchy
they don't try to steal the guy you like
they aren't two-faced
they stick up for you no matter what
they'll give you their sweatshirt
they'll carry you when you get hurt
and they might even fall in love with you♥
Thank you for reminding me, for the 9th time this year that i am not pregnant.
Even though i am a virgin.
Thank you for vomiting out blood whenever you like and punching me in the stomach for your wrong doings.
Its an absolute pleasure having you once a month, if you can see my sarcasm.
I really and truly hate you.
Love your unfortunate victim,
p.s your a homo.
Brunette: HIDE! THERES A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE!!!
Blonde: OH NO!!!! *runs to kitchen*
Brunette: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
Blonde: HIDING MY FRUIT LOOPS! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM DOING!
like if you get it! :)
- Million of quotes written by members